as for the wire falling out, you can put a little glue on the back of the harness, to hold the wire in place. just be sure it doesn't drip down further to prevent a connection.
and yes, all the accessory lights are powered by gray wires. (careful, don't read that as all gray wires are accessory light power) if it connects to a bulb.... and is gray, its the power wire. It will only turn on when your headlights click on and drl's kick off.
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