Talking Smack About The 'ho

[Redog]

I really didn't know were this came from but this guy at work, he's about 55, started talking smack about the Alero and saying that his 1983 Porsche 944 N/A, no turbo, all stock, and falling apart, can beat my Alero in a race.

Now any normal Porsche, OK I know, but a 944, no way. I figured it would be a close race, and could be a challange for the ol' Redog, but then I found this website
http://invision.aleromod.com/index.php?showtopic=13809 and is shows a few 944's running in the mid 16's.

I show him this site and then he starts talking like a ricer, some of his quotes

"See this foot? This it all I need"
"See a 944 S runnin 14.2!! I can put an "S" on the back of my car"
"We should race for pinks, but I don't want your Alero"

After showing all the guys in the lab the site, and finding out the his car is falling apart as it is, everybody started making fun of him. One guy went with him to buy the car and he siad that the enitre rear quaterpanels are held on by body filler.

This guy keeps saying, "When are you going to Atco again"
I said "I can go soon"
"When?"
"August 7 or Aug 14"
"No man that's too soon, I won't have it running by then"
"Put up or shut up"

I'll never race him, he won't show up

[jackal2000]

good story, what a retard

[MikeSS]

I hate people like that! I know your pain, I went from a 4 cyl Alero to a V6 Camaro.....I never get any respect.

[Redog]

Yeah it's like the Mustang boys (more so the V6 ones)

All his car has is a name plate, 944's were never fast. I was surprised to see one running 14.2 off the showroom floor.

Want a fast one, 911 turbo

My "people making fun of my car story:"
I was substitute teaching one day, in the UP of Michigan, way up in Baraga. Now this is total hick country. I had my car parked out in front in teacher parking, pulled in (I was late). One of my classes was middle school Physics, there were only a few kids in the class. 3 or 4 of the guys were sitting around looking out the window, and I hear them talking, then I hear:
"Why would you put a trailer hitch on an Alero?"
They were suprised when I said "So I can tow my trailer, duh. Not to mention there are no tow points on that car, and I don't want to get stuck in a ditch with no way out. This way my boyfriend can come get me with a tow strap, no police and tow truck required."

[Redog]

Got one too.

Atco is a really old track and after your run the return road goes right in front of the stands. These kid, about 16, say "HAHAHA it's a f***ing Alero on a racetrack" I stop the car, back up and say back "O yeah ahoe, can you bike run the 1/4 mile in 14.98?" Of course this was right after I ran my best time ever.

His 2 friends satred laughing at him and he was flabergasted

EDIT Atco is in New Jersey, where you can't get a license until you're 17

[Eh_nigma]

Sitting at the lights down the main strip... I don't like to street race on public streets... (now I know we don't write street racing stories, but this one's a bit different).

At the lights, buddy pulls up in a 93-95 Civic with a HUGE double wing aluminum spoiler... and yet, that's all that was done to it. Looks over and say's "I'll race your p.o.s. car right here, right now"... I look over at him, try to hold my laughter... but look down, under his car and look up at him again. This catches his attention. I look down again and say "I think your Catty's leakin fluid man!" *yes, catty's don't leak... that's the fun part*. He flies out of his car looks under and yells "Really? Where?"... my answer was slowly pulling away when the lights turned green.

The plain 944's were kinda slugs, but still quick in their day for what they were really designed for, curves and handling not straight line racing. The later 944 S & S2 models are pretty quick and the 944 Turbos will smoke ya.

The 88 Turbo S and 89+ Turbos were even faster than Porsche's flagship 911's. Don't trust the factory advertised speeds and times on these models. Porsche intentionally published slower times than what they could actually do. Didn't want $70k 911 buyers thinking the $35k 944 was faster.

[Daytona]

Ken,

Sounds like he and Big John share the same interest in crappy condition cars. Or is HE John?