Official ASS 2007 Whore Thread

[olds_03]

tsk tsk...make sure that doesnt happen again. ok? ok!
:p

[HazMatt24]

Marc was worthless today, and Billy was pretty quiet so I didn't have much material

[olds_03]

yea...Marc did seem to be slackin today...ill have to have a stern talk with him. this kind of behavior is NOT acceptable from him

[HazMatt24]

yes, yes you will. pimps need slapped too.

[olds_03]

oh he'll get slapped. he's knows im the boss, so he'll smarten up!:p

[Oldsman]

lmao..........

[Oldsnut]

wow, im disappointed in this thread today....i was away from it all day and only one page of new posts? damn guys!
I was at the hospital mst of the day.:(

[HazMatt24]

I was at the hospital mst of the day.:(

sorry to hear that, everything ok?

[olds_03]

I was at the hospital mst of the day.:(

oh no! is all ok???

[Oldsnut]

Little 8 year old girl who is like a daughter to me is having brain surgery on Sunday or Monday to remove 2 tumors betweeen her eyes and brain. She was 4-5 days from being legally blind due to the pressure from all the fluid that had built up in the area.
They did emergency surgery Thursday night to relieve pressure from the fluid. The docs were amazed she was able to function with all that fluid. They think all fluid will be drained by Sunday or Monday so they can proceed with surgery. I will be headed back there in a few hours.
By the end of this whole ordeal, I will never want to play another game of tic-tac-toe again. It's amazing how kids handle things like this while all of us adults are freakin out.

[olds_03]

omg wow! that's amazing! I hope she does well!!

[olds_03]

I'm curious as to how many people are 100% going. Best be all of your asses!

[Redog]

I'm curious as to how many people are 100% going. Best be all of your asses!


You bring your ass, and I'll be a day early :D

[olds_03]

well my ass has to come...it doesnt have a choice in the matter!:p

[Redog]

Sweet, I can't wait to see it, err I mean you ;) :scpimp: :p

[olds_03]

lol. ok no one is seeing my ass

[Redog]

So I guess you are going to wear a long coat in the middle of June. :lol:

I never said anything about seeing a bare ass ;)

:jk: I'll be good

[olds_03]

yes. in fact ill be wearing a long shirt to cover my bum lol

[Redog]

You suck :p Why does Marc get to see it and not us? :lol:

[Silentalero]

You suck :p Why does Marc get to see it and not us? :lol:

because the hoff is marrying us :lol: perks of the job kid

[Redog]

^ :lol: Dude she's mcuh older than you like :lol:

[Silentalero]

ill take my chances ;)

[HazMatt24]

^ :lol: Dude she's mcuh older than you like :lol:

1 Linds = two of Marc's regulars

[Silentalero]

there ya go, so its like 2 for the price of 1. Only gotta get one girl drunk that way :lol:

[Oldsnut]

lol. ok no one is seeing my ass
Now I guess I'm not going. Come on 1 peek for the old man, I promise I'll be good, really. ;) ;) ;)

[Silentalero]

**tightens the fishing string**

:lol:

[Oldsnut]

^ :lol: :lol: :lol: This thread is going to hell again.

[Silentalero]

cleaned it up :lol:

[olds_03]

ok what?? huh? Marc gets to see my bum once we're married! im an old fashioned gal!

[jackal2000]

whats with all the whores in my thread wtfux

[p1mptress]

oh he'll get slapped. he's knows im the boss, so he'll smarten up!:p
Damn right! Or don't let him see ur bum! :jk: Can't wait to get drunk w/u but i'm trying to get my tolerance up b/c i'm not canadian and i'm not born w/a high tolerance. :lol:

Little 8 year old girl who is like a daughter to me is having brain surgery on Sunday or Monday to remove 2 tumors betweeen her eyes and brain. She was 4-5 days from being legally blind due to the pressure from all the fluid that had built up in the area.
They did emergency surgery Thursday night to relieve pressure from the fluid. The docs were amazed she was able to function with all that fluid. They think all fluid will be drained by Sunday or Monday so they can proceed with surgery. I will be headed back there in a few hours.
By the end of this whole ordeal, I will never want to play another game of tic-tac-toe again. It's amazing how kids handle things like this while all of us adults are freakin out.
Hope everything goes well!! Keep us posted :(

ok what?? huh? Marc gets to see my bum once we're married! im an old fashioned gal!
That's great!! So that means you can't sleep in the same room as marc either or you can wear the locking metal underwear like in the old days (saw it in the movies)!! :p

[Oldsnut]

Hope everything goes well!! Keep us posted :(
Surgery cancelled this morning, has a fever of 103 and blew out her IV at 4AM, her hand swelled to size of a baseball. Docs told her mom today that tumor is not encapsulated or something which means they are probably of the malignant type. They will try for Weds. AM for the second of three scheduled surgeries. Mom is already bracing for the worst. Ex-husband didn't see Hannah for two days, saw her on Sunday for 2 whole hours and wasn't even there for the cancelled surgery. What a dick.
My wife has trouble understanding why I want to be there for her, try to explain but I give up. I have lost a child and know what she is going thru, I try to help whenever someone has problems like this. life just sucks at times. :(

[olds_03]

oldsnut...hope all works out!! my prayers are 100% with you!! try adn stay positive! life does suck at times but remain positive for the little girl! miracles do happen!


Kimmy, i know! i totally can't wait to get drunk with you too! we're gonna have a blast causing some serious trouble! lol
and my tolerance is pretty high. i drank a quart of sour puss saturday night and i wasnt even loaded...i was pretty pissed. but ill have like 3 or 4 40's for ASS weekend, so ill be getting pretty smashed:) AND marc said he'd pay for my booze so w00t for me...remember Marc??:) muahaha
and yes, i have myself a chasity belt. they keys have been thrown away too!

[Silentalero]

pfft i have a universal key, no worries :lol:

that booze? your buying it remember ;)

[olds_03]

no way man. you're sooooooooooooo buying it! mark my words! :)

[p1mptress]

lol if Marc was a gentleman he would buy the booze. ;) But yea I'm trying to get up to ur tolerance linds.

[Oldsman]

lol if Marc was a gentleman he would buy the booze. ;) But yea I'm trying to get up to ur tolerance linds.

remember women's lib., civil rights. a woman can buy just as well as a guy can.

[olds_03]

this is true Scot, however, in this case, marc will be buying me my booze. and he knows it!:)

[Silentalero]

lol its an inside thing....she will be buying her own

[olds_03]

lol ill let you stay in your little dream world. I know you feel safe there!

[HazMatt24]

lol if Marc was a gentleman

:emotlol: and the computer starts the day with an energy drink shower

[Silentalero]

your wasting alot of liquids on this site, i hope you know that in no way is aleromod.com reimbursing you for those :lol:


and btw it has nothing to do with being a gentleman :lol:

[HazMatt24]

in my experience, women really don't like it gentle

[Silentalero]

same here, if you wanna be gentle go pet a cat....sadly sounds like something billy would do just to say he touched pussy :lol:

[HazMatt24]

same here, if you wanna be gentle go pet a cat....sadly sounds like something billy would do just to say he touched pussy :lol:

or use peanut butter and a dog just to say he had some bitch lick his junk

[Silentalero]

or use peanut butter and a dog just to say he had some bitch lick his junk

sounds like somethin off road trip :lol:

btw awesome movie (OMG what did you kill a cheetah?????!!)

[HazMatt24]

"and tell that bitch to make me some pancakes"

[Oldsman]

lol ill let you stay in your little dream world. I know you feel safe there!

but the 13-16 yr old don't

[olds_03]

^ lol. probably not:p

[olds_03]

Well most likely im going, i just gotta see about tests that week, but i should be fine.

if i do go, im going to either bring my dad or my sister who is into cars. I need to have someone there with me just incase i make a retarded mistake;) haha.

Billy, if you bring your dad, best be warning him that we'll all be cursing, drinking large amounts and making asses out of ourselves! If you bring your sister, Matt and Marc will love you forever! lol

[Silentalero]

+1 for billy sister comin (in more way than 1) giggty giggty gooooo :lol:

[billytheman1188]

Billy, if you bring your dad, best be warning him that we'll all be cursing, drinking large amounts and making asses out of ourselves! If you bring your sister, Matt and Marc will love you forever! lol

yea my dad isnt up for a long trip, but he wouldnt give a crap if you guys curse and drink, he drinks a lot, so he would be drinking too.

hmmm, one of my sisters might be coming, im still figuring out who i should take.

[Silentalero]

felt like being a whore in here

[HazMatt24]

how about you bring them all, we'll take them all

[HazMatt24]

whoring is cool

[Silentalero]

/\ :lol: yea we need variety...some like blonde, some prefer brunette...im a brunette guy myself.

[Silentalero]

that and the ass threads died...THAT CANNOT HAPPEN!!!!

[14alero]

Do you thin Billys sister is really hot or not?

[HazMatt24]

Marc, they all look the same with the lights out or a paper bag over their heads

Do you thin Billys sister is really hot or not?

so far from what we've seen his one sister is, the little bastard is slacking on posting pictures of the other ones

[HazMatt24]

whore your ASS Marc

[Silentalero]

yea true...the bag theory has always worked but i need at least one during the day. Those bags can fall off...unless....i got an idea, go get some duct tape :lol:

[HazMatt24]

don't waste duct tape, make her wear a hoodie backwards and pull the draw strings

[Silentalero]

don't waste duct tape, make her wear a hoodie backwards and pull the draw strings

omg:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :haha: :haha:

touche salesman :lol:

[Silentalero]

omg im picturing this:lol: :lol: :lol: its what makes it so fuggin funny :lol: :lol:

[HazMatt24]

if it's a red hoddie you can call her ET

[Silentalero]

that just silenced the room ..


**crickets** :lol:

[HazMatt24]

yeah, I was trying to quiet everyone down. The only problem with covering their face is you can't give them a zombie mask

While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

[Silentalero]

:lol: good save


i still like the spiderman better.

You take you lovely whore of the hour and do her doggystyle untill your about to shoot your lovebutter and you spew on your hand. Then assume the spiderman finger positioning and aim web at said whore. Life is good

also do not forget the PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF sound effect...its what makes the spidie great :lol:

[HazMatt24]

I always heard it like this:

spider man 61 up, 19 down

A sexual deviation.

just before a man ejaculates during sex, the male will catch his jizzum in his hand an flick his protene into the females face resemblin web slingin. like spider man.

[HazMatt24]

lol, this one is great


The Rusty Trombone
The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.

[p1mptress]

ewwww you guys are gross!!

[Silentalero]

lol, this one is great


The Rusty Trombone
The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[HazMatt24]

ewwww you guys are gross!!

you want gross?

Birmingham booty call

Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.

[Silentalero]

you want gross?

Birmingham booty call

Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.

:coolio: does signal insurance cover that? :lol:

[HazMatt24]

beats me, maybe Billy's sisters know

[Silentalero]

oh oh ouch...no gotta defend my wifey on that....bad dog hazmatt...bad dog!

open game on billys sister though :lol:

[HazMatt24]

fixed

[olds_03]

omg lol! Billy, keep your sisters HOME!! trust me! lol

[Silentalero]

lol i dont think she ever saw :lol:

[HazMatt24]

if she did, she must be on medication because there is a distinct void of rage

[olds_03]

yea, im completely lost....

[HazMatt24]

angry dragon

Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

I gave your mom an angry dragon last night!

:emotlol: ok, you have to go to:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=angry+dragon

[p1mptress]

hmmm if Billy knows what's good for his sister he'll lock her up and throw away the key. Linds we're going to have to stick together like peanut butter and jelly just to survive the weekend w/these guys. :lol:

[HazMatt24]

I might be wrong, but I bet Marc likes to eat Peanut Butter & Jelly

[AlbinoMonkeyRat]

I might be wrong, but I bet Marc likes to eat Peanut Butter & Jelly
who doesn't!!!
http://content.ytmnd.com/content/2/8/8/288ddf531a8310c6f9340a3d0d9aea26.gif

[olds_03]

Kim, yes. We definitely are sticking together!!

[p1mptress]

It's going to be a great trip!!!

[olds_03]

omg totally! I'm just so glad I got you there!! We can form our own alliance lol

[Redog]

hmmm if Billy knows what's good for his sister he'll lock her up and throw away the key. Linds we're going to have to stick together like peanut butter and jelly just to survive the weekend w/these guys. :lol:

Hey I gotta protect my roommate!

[Oldsnut]

Silent, Hazmatt: I thought I was the king of sleeze but I think I have been outdone. I am proud of you both. Keep up the great work.:lol:

[olds_03]

Hey I gotta protect my roommate!

my roomate is one of the worst pervs on here...god save me! lol ;)

[Silentalero]

haha yea but u like it ;)

[olds_03]

lol at times:p

[Cliff8928]

Oh great, ANOTHER A.S.S. thread all whored-up. =)

[HazMatt24]

Kim, yes. We definitely are sticking together!!

would that be all hot and sweaty sticking together?

[AlbinoMonkeyRat]

would that be all hot and sweaty sticking together?
bwahahaah

[Silentalero]

would that be all hot and sweaty sticking together?

this can be the first video in our empire of sales :lol:

[HazMatt24]

I think if they are sticking like peanut butter and jelly, there should definitely be some peanut butter and jelly placed on there somewhere. That could be an X rated got milk? ad

[Silentalero]

hmmm and the empire has begun. I got a hotel room we can use!

[HazMatt24]

hmmm and the empire has begun. I got a hotel room we can use!

make sure you call the maid and ask for extra towels

[Silentalero]

oh yea......we're gonna need ALOT of towels.

[HazMatt24]

can we get some official ASS 07 hoodies made up?

[14alero]

i think they have t shirts made

[Silentalero]

i think they have t shirts made

:lol: **smacks forehead** and watches as the joke went about 2 miles over his head :lol:

ill have to see what i can find ....ill put an ASS sticker on em or somethin :p

[HazMatt24]

how about one in purple and one in tan to represent peanut butter and jelly?

[Silentalero]

that can work....ok wheres the girls at? this is becoming a sausage party...wtf

[HazMatt24]

everybody loves sausage, I just prefer pink patties to links

[14alero]

im sorry mark went over my head

[olds_03]

ok....what the fuck?!? lol

[HazMatt24]

mention head and Linds shows up, lol

[Silentalero]

mention head and Linds shows up, lol

:lol: sorry but that was funny


its like i told ya babe, all about the timing :lol:

[HazMatt24]

I should have said, mention head and Linds opens her mouth

[olds_03]

WHOA! lol!!! yea, that was funny! kudos Matt!:p

[HazMatt24]

thank you, I'll be here all week, be sure to tip your server

[Silentalero]

MATT MADE A FUNNY!!!

WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA!!!! :lol:

for some reason that mental image of the muppets set in

[HazMatt24]

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c265/hazmatt24/fozzie.jpg

[olds_03]

Fozzy Bear!!

[HazMatt24]

Fozzy knows the power of the hoodie

Wakka bitch, wakka

[Silentalero]

fozzy is my idol...he got all tha womenz

you dont think that banana he's holding is for eating do you?

tru :pimp: at work

[olds_03]

ok, this thread is too much for me today lol. im laughing out loud and people are starting to give me looks!

[jturkey69]

shit...31 pages...was there anything really said in those pages??...LMAO

[Silentalero]

nope :lol:

[SweetNLow]

huh?????

[HazMatt24]

there really is not point to whoring but it's fun

[Silentalero]

whoring is fun

[SweetNLow]

^^^^ biggest whore ever

[Oldsnut]

Matt is a very close second and is Mark best student.

[HazMatt24]

^^^^biggest understatement ever

[Silentalero]

i originated whoring here lol

[HazMatt24]

Mark is more in his prime than I am. I had to whore on the internet before Myspace

[jackal2000]

the biggest whore here is doubleNO....over 10k posts all but 5 of them are worthless.

[SweetNLow]

the biggest whore here is doubleNO....over 10k posts all but 5 of them are worthless.

i agree with you completely....... but you have to remeber when this current version of aleromod was put online i do believe everyones post count was reset to 0? so if you wanted your post count changed to what it used to be you had to ballpark it i believe.

cause there aint no way brad is truely at 10,000. and ya like you said........ all but about 5 are worthless. haha

[jackal2000]

i dont doubt he has that many posts at all. you havent seen the VIP whoring section.....

[SweetNLow]

thats prolly a good think i havent seen that section........ lord knows the regular aleromod threads drive me nuts as it is

[jackal2000]

all it is is conversation in post format.

[SweetNLow]

how stupid

why would you have a conversation threw posts?

[jackal2000]

how stupid

why would you have a conversation threw posts?


well for one, work networks dont allow instant messengers.

[p1mptress]

Actually everyone just makes fun of everyone else. And talk about nothing. The guys just talk about the chicks they wish they could bang!

[SweetNLow]

well for one, work networks dont allow instant messengers.

oh....... i guess we are kinda having one of those convo's right now.

since your never on AIM :cry:..... or is that cause your at work?

[SweetNLow]

bwhahahahahhaha

from my top 10 things i learned at ASS this year:

7. brad tried to get sex with the worst pickup line ever "so you ready to go" haha

[cherrington17]

i think i missed the story behind that one.... :glare:

[doubleN0alero]

It was a very drunken night that I dont even remember...lets just leave it at that.

[jackal2000]

oh....... i guess we are kinda having one of those convo's right now.

since your never on AIM :cry:..... or is that cause your at work?

i work til 10pm bro

[p1mptress]

awww Sweet misses you! That's so cute. So are you guys going to kiss and make-up and take pics so i can sell them on the internet! ;)

[cherrington17]

:wtf2:.... my god.. i can hear children crying just at the mention of that idea...

[SweetNLow]

awww Sweet misses you! That's so cute. So are you guys going to kiss and make-up and take pics so i can sell them on the internet! ;)

just wait till ass........ you can come in our room and be the photographer

[jackal2000]

just wait till ass........ you can come in our room and be the photographer


i guess that means joel is fired

[p1mptress]

I'm just taking the pics b/c threesomes don't sell on the net it's all about the gay guy stuff.

[HazMatt24]

I'm just taking the pics b/c threesomes don't sell on the net it's all about the gay guy stuff.

I think pics of you getting fingercuffed could bring a couple of dollars

[Silentalero]

I think pics of you getting fingercuffed could bring a couple of dollars

:ninja: we expanding to the east coast?

[HazMatt24]

:ninja: we expanding to the east coast?

We're worldwide bitch, act like you don't know

We got ho's, in different area codes

[Silentalero]

fo sho!

[p1mptress]

lol I was looking for the registered thread and came to this one. I'm not down with getting handcuffed!!! There's always that fear like in the movies where the person handcuffed is left there.

[Silentalero]

:lol: oh there shall be handcuffing! oh yes! it will happen!

[p1mptress]

I'll do the handcuffing then! ;)

[cherrington17]

sry, not my style. last time i was handcuffed, i nearly broke my own wrists... i guess i don't take kindly to bondage.. :lol:

[Satsuriku]

i guess i don't take kindly to bondage.. :lol:

pussy........oh, sorry, lack of pussy lol jk buddy :lol:

[Silentalero]

sry, not my style. last time i was handcuffed, i nearly broke my own wrists... i guess i don't take kindly to bondage.. :lol:

dont worry, she wont hurt you...rookies :lol:

[Oldsnut]

Mark, how many sets of cuffs will you need for the group? I might be able to gather up the ones laying around my house to cover what ya need.

[HazMatt24]

Mark, how many sets of cuffs will you need for the group? I might be able to gather up the ones laying around my house to cover what ya need.

LOL, like Mark would ever not have enough, besided, girls the age of the ones he likes have tiny wrists and you can put two wrists in one cuff

[Gr1m]

LOL, like Mark would ever not have enough, besided, girls the age of the ones he likes have tiny wrists and you can put two wrists in one cuff
hahahah yea he makes them much more efficient

[Silentalero]

damn straight! :lol: matt ASS wont be the same without ya

[HazMatt24]

stupid wedding ruining everything. Maybe next year or, we could have a little southwest meet/bachelor party thing later this year

[Silentalero]

hell yea! bachelor party!

[HazMatt24]

hell yea! bachelor party!

we can go down and meet up with BJ and get some Mexican hookers and blow

[strtrydr]

^haha ... for some reason I dont think that would work :(

still a good idea though!

[Silentalero]

^haha ... for some reason I dont think that would work :(

still a good idea though!

rookie :lol: thats just the beginning of the night.

[HazMatt24]

rookie :lol: thats just the beginning of the night.

what do you mean night? That's wholesome Sunday entertainment

[jturkey69]

heres an idea...of all these post whores sayin they can't wait...you need to back up you words, and register for a kick ass year of demo derby go-karting, and bullshitting half the day away

[cherrington17]

demo derby go-karting!? i didn't hear about that! oh thank GOD i'm registered.

and the rest of you honkys... whats the hold up! get your asses registered for the show!

[Oldsnut]

demo derby go-karting!? i didn't hear about that! oh thank GOD i'm registered.

and the rest of you honkys... whats the hold up! get your asses registered for the show!
This honky is gonna run your ass into the wall.:eek:

[Oldsman]

us old guys have to team up and take out these young punks........lol

[Silentalero]

HAAA!!!! the wall is gonna smell like old spice after u old fokers hit it :lol:

[Oldsman]

HAAA!!!! the wall is gonna smell like old spice after u old fokers hit it :lol:

the only way we will hit the wall will be as we put your ass into it.

besides if you can't beat brent what makes you think you can take us on.....lol

[cherrington17]

...the fact that out karts will weight less, since we don't have walkers, or handicapped signs hanging in ours. :lol:

[Silentalero]

the only way we will hit the wall will be as we put your ass into it.

besides if you can't beat brent what makes you think you can take us on.....lol

because that fat bastid took #8 and he could catch us

[MixtapeMessiah]

Southwest meet would be awesome, Id be game for that. Im movin back to the other side of Texas next week so Id be closer. I wanna go to ASS tho it sounds like yall are gonna have a blast

[Oldsman]

Southwest meet would be awesome, Id be game for that. Im movin back to the other side of Texas next week so Id be closer. I wanna go to ASS tho it sounds like yall are gonna have a blast

you should come to ASS this year and caravan up with aftermath from texas. Maybe if violent registers then there would be 3 of ya coming up.

[MixtapeMessiah]

I know violent we were suppost to have a texas meet last summer but it never happened. Id love to come to ASS this year but I got so much shit to do to my car and Id doubt it would make the long trip up there. Next year sounds like a plan, cuz I plan on finishing everything up by the end of this year hopefully if all goes to plan.

[MixtapeMessiah]

Hey ive been tryin to search for the videos of yall I forgot who it is cruisin around at the last ass meeting or some shit, anyone know where to find it at.

[Silentalero]

crap, i dunno where joel keeps it but i got a copies of it somewhere.

[Oldsnut]

HAAA!!!! the wall is gonna smell like old spice after u old fokers hit it :lol:
The only thing that will smell odd is my shoe after it exits your Ars. :lol:

[Oldsman]

The only thing that will smell odd is my shoe after it exits your Ars. :lol:

L M A O

[sound_xtreme]

www.aleroplanet.com/ass06.wmv